What Am I Doing?

This is all way harder than I expected it to be.

So, I have been blogging for about a month now, and I have around 8 posts and a little over 1,000 page views (cue celebratory party sound). On top of that, I recently started vlogging on my YouTube channel, Baylee Joy , and so far I've loved every minute of it.

The problem I didn't ever think I would run into has turned into my most common and infuriating problem to date; I don't know what to talk about.

I'm always talking, so how is this an issue?! I'm told to shut up more often than I am to speak up and yet some how my brain has managed to shut down and become a conversational black hole that swallows up every good idea I've ever produced! What's up with that, huh brain?

I am the master of rambling and the demi-god of tangents. I crack people up on the regular. I've even cracked myself up (sadly). Then I step in front of the camera, or put my fingers to the keyboard, and suddenly I can't find my personality. If you asked my friends, they'd tell you I'm a hyperactive moron with an above average IQ who enjoys the sound of her own voice too much to be healthy. On camera, I'm this awkward hippo who can't find her light and stumbles over basic english.

There are a lot of directions I can move my vlog into, including beauty vlogging, serious discussion, comedy channel, sketch channel, topic discussions, pop culture, blah, BlAh, BLAH. If we're being real, I'm not much of a beauty guru, and I can't hold a serious conversation for more than 2 minutes.

Part of my problem may be that I keep comparing myself to other established YouTubers. Through research and observation, I'm learning what people want and I'm finding myself rather lacking.

So what am I doing?

Well, no one starts out perfect, and I told myself I was going to pursue this. Maybe I'll never reach a million subscribers or even touch 100, but I'll be incredibly grateful for the few that I'll have and I'll continue to make content even if I only ever have 10 subscribers. It would be really encouraging if y'all could watch and like my videos though (#ShamelessSelfPromotion) and tell me what you think.

And if you have a channel, let me return the favor and encourage you to keep doing what you're doing!